Porcelain
by randoom
Summary: A smile from the girl made of porcelain. Life wants you to dance, B. And the audience is numerous. *** Bair/Chuck. Oneshot about the night at the Victrola and what happened afterwards.


**Oneshot – Porcelain**

What this was really supposed to be, she didn't know … Well, there was a bit of disappointment, disdain, disinterest and a little bit of... well, she didn't really know. Perhaps the typical feeling a la we-are-done.

Blair got into the limo, which Nathaniel had planned to take.

"Drive anywhere", she ordered the driver.

"Don't you have a certain aim, Miss?" the driver asked for confirmation.

"No."

There were no further questions. The limo simply drove away and Blair got more secure than the minute she stood there in front of Nathaniel. Nevertheless there were about a thousand thoughts running through her mind. How was everything supposed to go on?

Her mother would surely be disappointed in Blair, but actually, she always was disappointed in everyone anytime. But maybe Blair could set everything right before …

The limo was surrounded by shining lights of NYC.

… Perhaps Nathaniel just felt a bit insecure. There were so many things on his mind. So many obstacles. But then why didn't he rely on her, why did he vent his anger on her instead? She was disappointed in him. She loved him! He could have talked to her!

And she was disappointed in herself. She had to make the first step towards him. She should have loved him even more! Why didn't he let her do this for him? He just thought about Serena. Even little Jenny said: HE still loved Serena and almost kissed her! Who was he in a relationship with? With Serena or her? Right, it was her! So why was he so eager to get Serena? She despised him for that – she despised his love-sick heart.

A traffic light turned from green to red. The driver passed the crossroad nevertheless.

Principally she didn't care. The relationship with Nate injured her deeply inside. He had made her the luckiest person, but now, barely anything was left, no, nothing was left of this luck. Just a bunch of unimportant memories of the nice days of life, which she remembered now.

They drove past some bars and casinos.

Where was Nate going to go to? To Chuck, exactly. "Victory party. Here. Tomorrow." If it had got a different course, now they would sit together in this limo to the party. Blair would wear Nathaniel's grandmother's ring, and he would be right next to her... probably thinking about Serena again.

But she would have a good time even without him.

"You should deal with your father. He needs you. You know what? I don't."

That's what she said to him. And she meant every of these words.

"To Victrola, please", she told the driver.

Yeah, she was going to have her fun and then tomorrow, when Chuck and Nate would meet up so that Nathaniel could have a "serious" heart-to-heart about his family problems, Chuck would tell him how much she had enjoyed the party. Without him. Because she wasn't affected by the break up. Because she didn't care. Because she didn't need him. Not as half as much as he needed her, which he soon was going to painfully realize. Great plan. Nothing could go wrong. Some glasses of sparkling wine and everything would be fine. And Chuck was definitely entertaining in his own wrong-headed, perverted kind of way. Blair never had been bored by him after all.

The limo stopped in front of Victrola now.

Chuck was waiting.

"Where is Nate?"

"I think we just broke up," Blair said as she shut the door of the limo.

"What -?"

"I don't wanna talk about it. I just wanna escape," Blair walked towards the entry of the club and he followed her. "That is what this place is for, right?"

Actually Chuck expected Blair to be in tears when she and Nate broke up. But it seemed she already had realized that it wasn't going to last like this forever. And now she was here. It seemed that Blair Waldorf and Chuck had much more in common than each of them could have guessed. Enjoyment was more… enjoyable than suffering and problems.

Blair would easily find a new toy. She was a quite pretty girl after all. Chuck watched her, while she was sitting down onto the sofa and watched the dancing girls. For example she had a pretty face. Perhaps a bit like a porcelain-doll, with big dark eyes and silky hair. And this fragile outward appearance was a spicy mixture with her biting character. A charming and dangerous mixture. But … actually she was interesting. She didn't let anyone close to her in any way. Like every girl she believed in things like love and trust, for sure. And in all the other things, the ones only made to make money, like Hollywood-films and romantic novels. But that was not the real life. In real life love and trust was not enough to make a man satisfied. A man needed more than that. A man needed sex. And this was something Blair could never give to Nate although they had been a couple for such a long time. Blair just didn't know how to make herself desired, how to let her hair down.

They cheered to each other. Blair continued watching the dancing girls and Chuck leant back into the sofa.

He dithered over whether she would want to talk about the whole thing, although she said she just wanted to escape. Woman often said things they didn't mean to so that you asked twice and showed your interest in the topic. That was the thing every woman wanted to: Talk. Don't take actions. Mostly words. Not that talking was a bad thing in the first place, but there were different things to do and most girls were a bit too enthusiastic about talking in his opinion. Although he noticed that when Blair was in situations like these, she atypically favored silence.

How long had they known each other? Practically forever. As long as he had known Nate and this began when they started primary school. Those days when Nate and he played Monopoly together and they tried to pull at the girls' pigtails during break. When they became older, they replaced this with looks under the girls' skirts of course.

Chuck grinned. He sat in a club full of beautiful girls and thought about his former time at school.

Did Blair remember playing this special kind of "7 minutes in heaven", too?

It had happened in fifth grade. Everybody was invited for Serena's birthday party. There were Nate and Blair and him and a bunch of people he wouldn't recognize now though he met them occasionally and a bunch of people he still saw. The whole evening Blair drove Serena crazy about Nate. Nimrod Nate didn't realize this at all, but Chuck enjoyed the spectacular happening, even when it wasn't all about him for once. And when Blair finally made Serena want to play "7 minutes in heaven" there was his fun.

Serena was decided to be directing the game and chose the official matchmaking, she was the one throwing the party after all. So Blair was cowering in the little, dark powder-room. She and Serena had chosen a certain sign. But too bad for Blair that Serena had drunk a little too much because she "was totally adult!" now and forgot about the deal. So Serena chose Chuck to join Blair in the powder room instead of Nate as she asked: "And what about this handsome guy?!" pointing at him so everybody could see who she chose. And Blair actually answered "yes".

All the guests had snickered. But Chuck Bass only grinned, satisfied, fixed his jacket neatly, and made his way into the dark, small powder-room to give Blair Waldorf her very first kiss with tongue.

The year after that Chuck had been deflowered by Georgina.

Right, now everything worked out again! He was in some club and so he naturally thought about sex. And Blair was sitting right beside him.

Waking up from his deep thoughts, he looked to her again and rewound his thoughts a few steps: "I know you don't wanna talk about what happened, but - "

"Relief," Blair nodded, holding a glass of sparkling wine like she had planned in the limo and didn't take her gaze from the dancing girls. "I feel relief."

Did she really say that?

Yes.

And it was obviously true. She was relieved. At least right now. Nate didn't matter to her. She was allowed to feel good, just enjoy the party and not have to think about anything. Not what her mother was going to say about the break-up. Not that she wasn't worth enough for Nathaniel Archibald. Not that he didn't like her much enough to once have slept with her. No convictions, no rules, nobody she had to mind, nobody she could hurt by her behaviour.

"You know, I got moves."

Chuck grinned satisfied. "Really? Then why don't you get up there?" He leant to Blair airily.

"No", Blair said, fending off his challenge. "I'm just saying I got moves."

"Come on, you are ten times hotter than these girls," piqued Chuck, nudging her in a hail-fellow-well-met way.

"I know what you're doing, Bass." She gazed at him. "You really don't think I'll go up there."

Chuck still grinned. Yes, he was completely convinced she wouldn't. "I know you won't do it."

Blair nodded now and positioned her glass on the table in front of them, before she got up. "Guard my drink."

It was true. Chuck hadn't really believed she would go up there to dance. He underestimated her.

He got up, too, to have a better sight. The crowd wacked out.

If Chuck had called Blair a doll half an hour before he just could shake his head and wonder how he could come up with such an unfitting description. Blair had taken off her dress now and let her hips circle in a lascivious way. Her underwear adapted perfectly to her petite and very female figure, and although she was wearing a few more clothes than the girls surrounding her, she was much more appealing. In each and every manner.

"Who's that girl?" somebody asked him.

"I have no idea."

That was the only thing he could say. Chuck took another gulp from his glass, but actually he couldn't do anything else then watching her. His throat was dry. The music hummed and rang in his ears and he had to smile suddenly as Blair bent down and played tantalizingly with her necklace. He took another gulp, stunned, and cheered to her.

And when she smiled at him self-confidently, the way she was up there with a club full of gazes trained on her, in this very moment a thousand thoughts streamed in Chuck Bass's head.

He imagined she would dance for him, and just for him. Only because he could watch her female attitude and her beauty. Here she didn't need to hide, she didn't need to escape. She was no little girl anymore, who was told what to do and how to behave. Here she was an adult woman, a very beautiful woman outliving her passion and using the clearance to have her fun.

Nathaniel was such an idiot. He always waited for Serena to come to him. Serena this, Serena that. And he didn't see what he had with Blair. Enjoyment, lust, the love of life, and freedom.

Did Nathaniel only once notice her beauty?

Why hadn't Chuck noticed this beauty before? Or, if he had seen it – this is what he realized now – why didn't he get this close to her, making this beauty his? Perhaps, because it was the pure, virginal Blair. Nate's pure Blair. Maybe he wouldn't want to waste his time getting a girl who already belonged to someone else and wasn't interested in him.

But Nate was an idiot and Blair didn't belong to him anymore. She said it herself. She was here now, here with him, dancing for him.

His stomach moved in together during his last thought and something stabbed him through the chest. It was like he didn't get enough oxygen, he was paralyzed, overwhelmed. Maybe drunken... drunken with an unknown feeling...

Now Blair came down from the stage. She collected her shoes and her dress. Then she moved over to Chuck and grinned self-satisfied. "You must admit, I am REALLY ten times as hot as these girls."

Chuck didn't reply, but still smiled at her.

"I am tired, Chuck."

"Yeah... we better drive back home."

Without another word, Chuck guided her to the limo. He got in and she followed. Both of them felt extremely warm. The bar was very heated up when they were leaving. They were done, overwhelmed, exhausted. Not physically. Emotionally.

Blair enjoyed her new found freedom and the stream of adrenaline in her veins she carried from the stage into the limo. She took a short glance to Chuck. He seemed to be so exhausted. But there was something different concerning him. It was the loss of the typical Chuck-Bass-I-am-an-ass-attitude, which normally followed him like a bad scent. The truth was, she really liked this kind of Chuck. Even if he hid this side of character most of the time and only let it show up once in a while. Of course, this behaviour was connected with taking a risk. Nobody knew as well as her. It meant that you had to trust and this was so difficult. Using a poker face was so much easier, being a lone fighter, when you played whatever game with your own rules and so you got a guarantee to always get what you wanted. Indeed, this was something Blair knew. Chuck and she really had some things in common in some ways. Both of them loved playing games and were very calculating. They wanted to gain the control over the situation and keep it.

And now one could see clearly that Chuck was quite thrown off his guard by her behaviour. He didn't expect this from her. But that was no wonder, because she didn't expected it from herself, too.

She didn't plan on dancing, like she didn't plan on breaking up from Nate, but in the end it had been the right thing to do. She had felt so good, so unbelievable free. And it was Chuck Bass, he of all people, who gifted her this feeling because of a little joke. Nobody else but him. So she danced for him. And she clearly saw the way he looked at her all the time. Like she was something to desire, something beautiful, something extraordinary. It was not a bored and fed up oh-it's-Blair-AGAIN-glare like all the looks she got from Nate and her mom and all the others. It was different. He seemed to be charmed. And that seemed to be because of the whole uncommon situation. Blair also felt bewitched, like she was in some nice dream which only belonged to her.

How long was this dream to last?

One single wrong movement and maybe everything would come to an end.

She looked toward him again while he looked lost into space.

"Thanks for the lift home," she said simply.

"You were... amazing up there..."

His voice was so soft all of a sudden and he spoke in such a hesitant way as if he was afraid, too, to destroy this wonderful moment.

No, this was right and everlasting and good.

She met his gaze and approached near to him. He was handsome. Had he always been this handsome? Yes, but this wasn't a thing to think as girlfriend of some other boy.... But now, she was able to think it a thousand times. His lips, his eyes, his hair, his scent. Everything was so much Chuck and so less Nathaniel as possible, but it was so unbelievably tantalizing.

Less than an inch of air parted their faces. And everything was clear.

He wanted her.

And she wanted him too.

Blair moved a bit closer. His scent got more enticing and she looked him directly in the eyes. She wanted to be with him, not because she had to, but because she was able to. Just a bit and she could reach for him, touch him. Kiss him. Maybe even more. He also leant a bit towards her. It almost seemed as if he was too afraid to move any more.

It's Chuck Bass, it's not Nathaniel, a small voice in her head cried out.

Yes, it's Chuck! another aroused and adventurous, free Blair said.

But he will sleep with you! said Blair, the doll.

Yes, he wants to sleep with you. And you want to do it with him, answered the other Blair.

And while the two Blairs were still arguing inside her head, the true Blair had already kissed Chuck Bass. It had been a short, tender kiss.

Chuck pulled himself from her and met her gaze. "You sure?" In his voice there were so many ambiguous things: Lust, awareness, fear, desire, and unexpected tenderness.

In spite of that, or maybe because of that, she kissed him with all of her desire. It was a beautiful, passionate kiss, the kind where you wished that it would never end. None of them wanted to part from the other.

It was a long-lasting kiss. A freaky kiss. A kiss on a backseat of a limo. A kiss with aftermaths.

He pulled her close to him and she could feel him the way she had wanted to so badly. She had him for all of her own and she lived just for this moment.

Blair laid a hand on his cheek and the other on his neck and then on his chest, and then she realized that Chuck was taking her hand into his, pulling her even closer to him. He touched her hair, felt the soothing curls and couldn't remember ever kissing a girl like this before.

In that moment they loved each other, distant from the rest of the world outside, free and just the two of them.

And that was everything that seemed to count.

At least that night.


End file.
